Hello everyone! I'm finally back to blogging after a weekend well spent with Jesse celebrating our first anniversary! Seriously, I just don't even understand how it's already been a year. It feels like yesterday we were having our wedding and spending precious time with all of our family and friends in Vienna. And yet, 365 days have passed right on by!
Glory to God, we came out of our first year of marriage happy, healthy, with jobs, a home and each other. And now we're headed into our second year stronger than the first, bringing along all the things that we've learned from our victories but really, mostly from the failures. These are the biggest, therefore the toughest lessons that I've learned so far.
1) Healthy communication:
I'm pretty infamous for being passive aggressive, so when we argue, I tend to shut down and hold on to that grudge with the death grip, rather than hash it out. Straight up, it's just unhealthy for a relationship. I've been learning and improving on saying what I feel, when I feel it instead of pushing it deep, deep down so no one ever knows. That is until you "accidentally" eat my leftovers and then World War III ensues because of all the emotions that have built up . This happened once. Again, just not healthy.
2) With #1 being said, I've also learned to bridle my tongue:
Just because I'm speaking my mind doesn't mean I can say anything I want. Sometimes refraining from saying one word is better than saying stuff you don't necessarily mean out of anger. There is power in the tongue and learning to control what comes out of my mouth has been difficult but really helpful.
3) Put some respek on his name:
All jokes aside, this is such an important lesson I've learned. Along with being mildly passive aggressive, I am completely head strong and stubborn. I naturally don't like being told what to do so when I don't take Jesse's advice or listen to him with an open mind, he feels disrespected and untrusted. And that's not the way I want him to feel and that's not the kind of marriage I want. I'm learning to put aside my pride and listen.
4) Laugh with each other:
Nothing in life should be taken too seriously. Through all the growing pains of learning to be married and adulting, we have to remember to have fun with each other, make memories, go on dates, be spontaneous, be kind, gentle and playful with one another.
5) Be the first to say sorry.
When I was 4, I once willingly chose a spanking over saying sorry to my dad. So I know it's hard, when you're a rock head like me. But I have learned that I don't want to waste my precious time on earth pouting and being angry (even if it is about leftovers), when I could be growing with Jesse.
Really what I've learned is that marriage is just a mirror of who I am. It's a mirror revealing my faults and flaws but also my strengths and strong points. And although I don't necessarily like staring at all the ugliness inside me, I know that I'm becoming a better version of myself because of it. Because of Jesse and our marriage, I am better. So, thank you good sir, for putting up with me and loving me despite my ugly. Happy Anniversary chicken.